Box

Poem of the day. Draft one
Box

"Think outside the box," they told me.

"Think outside the box," they'd say.

So I put my socks and shoes on, and I stepped out of the box one day.

This outside place - this wonderland

I was led astray from the task at hand.

With no signs to point me to one single resolution, I wandered in search of my own solution -

And - I found many! And I kept finding more

Solutions to my questions,

 More questions to my solutions.

Infinity suggestions, and

 Invaluable life lessons .

In this world of possibilities

With no limits set with in it

The more I stepped outside that box, the less time I spent it. 

As time went on, something began to change with that box.....

Or was it I who had changed? All I know for certain, was that things were getting strange-

Because each time I was summoned to return “Home” to my box, it had become increasingly difficult to fit back in it.

Perhaps I was growing, or the box was shrinking smaller

Or maybe it was a little shorter, or I was growing a little taller

Was this box getting thinner? Was I growing wider?

 What I do know for certain was: The fit was getting tighter.

Too many questions! Suffocating in that box!

I put my socks and shoes on and I stepped out of the box

And with an “Ah-Ha!” moment, it all became so clear……
The box is not for me
This outside place - this wonderland is where I need to be

So I’ll be staying here

And I’ll be leaving my mark, for the entire world to hear.

Farewell box.

Nightmare Moon and Her Mental Illness

I am a grown woman who loves MLP Friendship is magic
because it is the shit.
For those of you who DGAF about the show... give me a chance. I think I have the potential here to open your minds, and hearts to not only how Rad Ass Princess Luna is, but how mental illness is absolutely necessary in leadership.

I read a thread this morning that had many theories and attempts to psychoanalyze and reach a consensus on Princess Luna and her alto ego, Nightmare Moon. While these were all clever, creative, and nicely written, I am going to respectfully disagree with all of them.

I am not a psychiatrist but I am a mental shit show. And nobody knows mental illness better than a self aware, walking, breathing, mental shit show. so here we go....

PTSD, Bi Polar Disorder, Anxiety, Anger, Depression, & all that other fun shit nobody wants to be plagued with.
While we are all born with our brains wired differently and some of us are more prone to these disorders than most, the foundation of these particular disorders (usually) stem from some sort of childhood trauma (suppressed memories included), a series of minor mistakes to major failures throughout your life, and receiving criticism. Some people are capable of coming out unscathed.
But those of us who are lucky enough to hang onto these often emotionally damaging experiences-and wear the scars-we truly are fucked up in a very special way.
I do believe that a psychopath is the mental illness that is all genetics and a psychopath is born a psychopath. Don't quote me on that. I am not sure how a person comes to have Split Personality Disorder. But I would like to note that many of those on that MLP thread are confusing Split Personality Disorder with Multiple Personality Disorder. You have to look at Luna/Nightmare Moon from a Jekyll/Hyde perspective.

Nassir Ghaemi knows his shit.
In his book A First Rate Madness, this dude sums it up like a boss.
Our strongest leaders throughout history tend to suffer from a mental illness listed above. Lincoln suffered from depression. William T Sherman was a M- F'ing-BA with Bipolar Disorder. And Winston Churchill suffered from some gnarly depressive episodes AKA his "dark dog." And unlike his mentally healthy counterpart, Chamberlain, He saw right through Hitler. Without Churchill's seemingly paranoid, yet accurate judge of character, well... Chamberlain and rest of his crew would have made some terrible decisions that would have altered the course of history.
Why is this? Because in order to build realism, empathy, and resiliency you must first experience turmoil in your life. You have to suffer, fail, and learn how to heal.
You feel. You Deal. You heal. You are blessed with the ability to keep shit real.

Without Princess Luna, Equestria and Ponyville would be fucked.
Now I do not know what life in Ponyville was like before Twilight Sparkle and the other five elements of harmony came to be, but what I do know, is that it's thug life from the first episode on.
Princess Luna is a crisis leader. Straight up. A prime example is the episode where "everypony" has crippling nightmares. She jumps in. she is fast on her feet. She instinctively dives into crisis and handles business.

Celestia manages the day-to-day
She can handle the mundane shit. I compare her to George W. Bush and Richard Nixon (First Rate Madness). She is a mentally sound manager of daily tasks. But she is a terrible leader. In the heat of a crisis, Twilight and the others are often left to their own devices. At least until Twilight can come up with a game plan. And even then Celestia is not very good at helping out. She handles crisis situations similar to how the insane handle the mundane. You might also notice that she never, ever asks for feedback. Another trait of the mentally healthy. Luna values feedback. She asks others for their input. Remember that time she was struggling emotionally on account of Pinky Pie getting all of those little trick or treaters worked up over Nightmare Moon? She relied heavily on Twilight and Applejack to guide her and help her manage her bi-polar-like rapid mood cycling. This is what makes the difference between a leader and a manager. Luna is a leader. Celestia is a manager.

I could go on and on and on and on on this topic
But my 4 and 6 year old daughters are beating the shit out of each other. And So I must throw on my cape, and dive into crisis.

Thanks ya'll!

Lies I Tell My Children

Lies I Tell My Children

Sometimes, the only way you can get your child to shut up is by lying to it.

I have always believed that honesty truly is the best policy. I believe in being a good person. And I believe in raising your children to be honest, reliable,  and above all, tolerable human beings. But truth be told, the older I get, the more I realize that sometimes... It is OK not to know the whole truth. The truth hurts. A person hears what they want to hear. And trying to get my daughters to listen to reason can be like beating a dead horse. With another dead horse.
My husband and I have been together for nearly a decade, and to each other, we are the world's worst liar. But when it comes to lying to our children-
We co parent like a boss.

And thanks to his big brains, and my even bigger brains

Here is a list of some of the best, and most despicable lies I've told my children, followed by their translations:

#1. "It is not Happy Meal Day"
You're angry because you cannot have a Happy Meal today? I heard that. I've been thinking about a cheeseburger and Coke all goddamn day.  The McDonald's website says that the next "Happy Meal Day" will be on the second Tuesday of next month. That's in approximately 16 days.
Obviously, I am not the enemy here if I am just as pissed off and put out as they are.

#2. "Your dad said that you cannot go to Grandma's tonight if your room is not clean before he gets home"
Hey kids. Check out this fictional, cause-and-effect, play-by-play, bull-shit that I just conjured up. It's total bullshit. I have no intentions of keeping you home tonight. The fact that I am even pretending to lay down the law right now is proof positive that I am reckless, impulsive, and I create my own stressful environment.
Thank God my kids are naturally motived to comply when Grandma is the prize.

#3."One year, Uncle Jeremy was so naughty, that he did not get ANYTHING for Christmas!"
Let's call Uncle Jeremy and ask him about the time....
In my daughters' eyes, my brother is the most unlucky, hard-knocked, son' bitch who has ever made it out of adolescence. Unbeknownst to them, he skated through his childhood. But when the action is live and I need someone with quick wits and the ability make up a story with little prompting- I call Uncle Jeremy. He is my go to. He has more availability  than all of Mitch's and my siblings combined.  And unlike my little sister, he has no qualms about lying to his nieces.
When you tell my daughters a tale from the Trials and Tribulations of Uncle Jeremy's Childhood: Shit gets real.

#4. "I'm Santa Clause"
Sort-of.

#5. "I just barely read on-line that it is Happy Meal Day. But you just beat the shit out of your big sister and so we are not going."
Happy Meal Day was never an option today. I have nothing left. You have had the upper hand all week. I threw in the towel yesterday. This is an artificial reprimand. It is one last pathetic attempt to reclaim my dignity before dinner.

#6. "Daddy needs to run to the store."
Daddy needs to go get Mama's Xanax.


I would like to take a moment and express my gratitude to all of you for reading my very first attempt at blog post

Disclaimer:
THE LIES IN THIS POST ARE STRICTLY FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE PARENT. NO HARM HAS EVER COME TO THE CHILDREN REFERENCED IN IT.


Carli-Out